So what happened this weekend?well in short I got hurt,I saw ferdi,failed at ribs and got a 1gig memstick.here's the breakdown of the happenings.
Friday :we did the normal business thingy during the day.but got off earlier cause we made some sort of target.I don't know.fell asleep during the meeting.I searched high and low but just couldn't find a bday gift for greg.BTW..happy clappy for friday dildo.later I went with grego to Boston BBQ(a classy joint that you can stuff you're face in).talked the normal kak with his mom and fam.then went to roxies.
here's a tip,don't mosh on a full stomach!we got there just intime to see some feminine band playing a gay assed song,then came inershia.the cfrowed went wild!some guy even got out of his wheelchair to join the mosh,I swear!ok I'm lying but that's how good they were.really.anywhoo on with the moshing.greg and I fell down twice,plus some big ish person went and bent my knee the wrong way.out goes martin.its still bladdy sore.
Saturday : woke up way to early,went with grego to sign for his new car.doubt ill drive it..bastard.went to his dads place.learnt that his brother is really crazy,apparently he went cycling earlier.John buy a fu#king car!off to cazzs place for an all you can eat ribs challenge.I managed just over 4racks then was kaput!basti(pastors son) said it felt like he was making love to his ribs.pervert..oh I also got a 1gig mem stick earlier that day.
Sunday : sweet glorius nothing...oh wait I'm lying..we removed all gregs sound from his car..went shopping and played psp.. So ja.that's about all for this kak weekend that turned out to be fun..whod have thunked it
The reason why the vid wasnt working,was cause you tube was down for maintance..They do that from time to time,And is really to be expected,As there is around 50k new videos uploaded,Daily
Im not to sure what the hell to post anymore,hence me going in the whole email joke route.Its easy and fast,Plus it seems to work for the okes on chump.
But I will still be informing you okes about all the kak that im planning for weekends,Any meaningful stuff that happens during me mundane week will also be posted,Take last night for example.I was in bed by 8:45..Yes ladies and gents that was a long night for me!
This weekend is going to be a blast,I havent been in a mosh pit since early in this year,But that was ruined by some stupid high speed ravers,The SA hardcore dance team.Bunch of faggots if you ask me.Who honestly does spinning kicks in a moshpit?Apparently its a form of moshing.LOSERS...
Ill just have to use ferdi as my trusted weapon.You see the wonderful thing about ferdi in a moshpit is that he has alot of momentum.Science class taught me that momentum is good.Esp when trying to hurt a bunch of girly girls.
Saturday will probably be boring,Have to make a stop at ferdis,Cause honestly...I miss that man.I miss him alot.oh and basti has chocolate for me.I know it,I just know it....
Sunday,Well i live by the bible.Thats a day of rest.....Or something to that effect.Not sure.i cant really read
So ja.Hormz,Cazz you two happy now?Huh?You made me cry.I hope youre happy.
Enjoy and check you all on the 7th,cause next week im off!hahaha .losers.
EDIT-The vid is still stuffed.Sorry...Youtube search her,alizee
No matter how hard I try just cant figure somethings out..
Why on earth do people just hit the brakes when they are on the highway?Not gently tap them,They slam on anchors?WHY!!!It messes up the flow DO IT!
Why do people insist on following the American gangster culture okes are worthless,Useless and stupid mimic them?Is their life that important?Glamorous? The guys live in slums..They don't know when their lives might end,
Who thought up the word bling?Come on.At least make it sound more expensive.say shiny or something.
Why do people fall for internet scams?Out of the whole internet user group.Why would someone choose you to help them?A total stranger...Really.Come on
Why cant people think before they do things?If you slow down just a little you might actually have time to get youre foot out of youre mouth,Saving people alot of heartache,hurt feelings and money.
Why is the world so obsessed with looks?Yes we all do like a beautiful woman/man, but how deep do the feelings go then?Youre in love with a painting,GET OVER IT!
Im going to miss this little mission i had.Geuss ill have to wait another year..
oh well
Dear Martin ,
I am sorry for inconvinence I have already start looking for another person who can help me ok.Remain Blessed
sandra
Im glad shes gone on to do bigger and better things.But really..Im going to miss her
I left her with a little message.
Ok few tips before youre next 419 scam....
Dont use yahoo adresses for banks.Big tip off.
The guy you put as Dr who ever...No bank answers their phone at 6in the morning.Get him to sort out his phone manners.He really doesnt sound like the guy you made him out to be.
Brush up on youre story.Maybe get some news articles about a tragedy that happend in the ivory coast.
No one cares how youre mom dies,Plus it took you way to long to get to the point.i actually fell asleep while reading it.
Brush up on youre english.I had to decipher almost every line.Just to figure out that you meant to say nothing...really.
Plus was that really you in the photo?OHMYGOD!take better pics.Please.Jeepers.You lost me about 7-8 readers on my blog...Yes ive been publishing everything
Who knows if she will ever get it right...My hope is she winds up in a prison somewhere..rotting and getting beaten up by a woman named jim...But its not a perfect world.And sandra.if youre reading this...Post a comment.
So yesterday i overslept...Bad thing to do,I was late for work,couldnt get round to everything,yadda yadda yadda.
But this morning i was here bright and early.
So today i shalt explain the average morning that i experience to you bunch of miscreants. It starts at a rooster waking time of 5:15am.Yes,Thats before the bladdy sun has even gotten up.A syncronised display of brilliance follows as greg and i get dressed(in our own rooms) and still manage to share a bathroom.Yes.We dont bump into each other.Thats how talented we are
Normally greg goes out and starts his car,while im brushing teeth,Cleaning my toes with his toothbrush etc.Then when he's doing his stuff in the bathroom,i go pack my lunch,and we are off.This happens within about 10-15minutes.
On the road,i dont reply to you,unless you make lots and lots of sense.Or have something meaningful.
Most mornings i cant even remember getting to work.Thats how boring the morning routine is.I can sleep thru it.
Are you the only person who can do this.You make me afraid by your sayings .
Seriously..WTF!Has the rest of africa forgotten about the simplest english lessons?You make me afraid by youre saying..WHAT THE HELL!stupid bladdy criminal
so i just sent her this now
my sayings are just like normal peoples sayings,however we do call them expressions here.
What do you mean am i the only person that can do this?Do what?Help out a total stranger?Im not sure.But until you actually listen to me,and follow what i tell you,I suggest you find someone else.
As soon as i get the pic from her,im showing her my blog.....Dumbass woman
She has either caught on.on isnt the token black person we wanted..But ja...this pretty much says it all
Dear Martin,
You want me and my brother to come up to South Africa then why carrying pictures up or down carrying pastors name.I am not a refugee or a begger ok ,to come in the televission or carring papers looking for help.Please no.I am sorry
Sandra
So i replied with a short one...
ok fine.Good luck.Mail me when youre willing to prove youre trustworthy
So i stuck it to her.....sort of she sent this on friday.. I just replied..
Please i am afraid of your saying.I dont want what happened to my Father to happen to me ok.I am careful about my life and the money.I trust you but the way you but things I can not understand it.If you need my picture I will send you my pictures but talking about landmark or sign is making me to be afraid where do i go for for the land mark.I dont think I can go anywhere.Please dont do me anything I didnt do anything wrong to you.remember this is God .My intention is for us to do things together and you help me to invest.I am not joking of any type .I am serious
But Please if you dont want to do this or understand me the way I explained things to you or did not trust me ok Good bye.God bless Sandra
Sandra
Good morning hope youre weekend was lovely.
I spoke to our pastor yesterday about youre visit.He mentioned you in church.We are busy raising funds for you and youre brother to fly down to south africa,So far we have $1000.My pastor was just as sad to hear about youre situation.
Ive also been thinking.I dont want you going out in public if you dont have to..I was thinking that you could take two pictures.One with a sign saying our pastors name.
Iscatterlings. and one with my church name on.Marbro.
just to make sure about everything (plus my pastor would love that,its his birthday on friday)
I can not understand exaltly what proof you want from me.Ok if you can not trust me Good bye.I dont need to beg for this.I am considering to stay here because the way you are thinking you may not release the money when it comes into your account.Unless you convince me you can not.God bless you
sandra
So i replied with.
No need to have an attitude sandra.I just want to be sure that you arent going to take me for a ride.I am going to be opening my house up to you.I dont want to have this deal go sour.You have to understand that this deal is 100% safe.You have to understand that I am a business man,Thats spend the better part of my career making my business grow.
To prove that you are who you are,Could you send me another photo.One with something that only the two of us knows about.Maybe at a landmark in the Ivory coast, or a sign that says something
From Kurt Russell in the TV series "Lost in Space" to Jennifer Aniston in the movie "Leprechaun", it's ten minutes featuring dozens of celebrities you may recognize making their acting debuts when they were younger.
Our Chief operations officer,new gm and some other woman/man came for a week visit,Gm's obviously staying.
We are also having our quaterly braai.Im just waiting for barry downstairs to phone me and get to come help him.Yip thats right.Im done working for the day!wooowoooowoooowoooowooo
The rest of the day is going to involve me drinking.Braaing and smoking.Cool hey.Ive been lis for a braai for ages.Cant remember when last i had one.Nothing better than meat on a grill with some coal under it.Proudly Southafrican and stuff
So ja.Short one for today.Just to say im alive(not that anyone cares,bastards)
Oh and sandra is still mailing me,Monday ill knock you okes with a bumber one.Still need to reply to her.
So we all have a phobia,even the chuck has one.(the hoff)
So what are youres?Mine has to be spiders.Those littel buggers are extremely scary to me.In primary school I used to freeze up if i wasnt so manly,id probably have cried.
They have more legs than me, More eyes,and they can kill you.I dont believe that crap about some spiders not being able to bite you or that some dont have the right type of poison to kill.Its rubbish!poison kills!
Ive slowly grown accustomed to Daddy long legs.But they are the only ones.The only one ,cause they kill mozzies and so forth.That doesnt mean i like them though.
I used to be terrified of heights.Total bitch because im tall.At one point getting up meant me crying....
I attached my picture again for you to see me.For you to understand, I am not from Nigerian but from Cote d' ivoire in west Africa.You can understand this if you read my previous mails well.I want you to contact the bank where my late father deposited this money before he died for them to tell you how they will transfer the money into your account.After the transfer of this money into your account i will prepare and come over to meet you and we will discuss on the area of investing this money
Here is the contact of the bank where my late father deposited this money before he died.I want you to comfirm from the bank to know then we will contniue. BANK NAME: CITY BANK TELE: +225 05146042 FAX: +225 51279689 Email: adim_city_bank_plc_ci@yahoo.fr
Contact person is:Dr Cletus Amera manager inter,remittance department.
When contacting,tell them you are contacting them on my behalf,that you are my late fathers business friend, based abroad that you want to assist me to transfer this money out side the country for investment purpose which both us will go into partnership after my education.If you like in my next mail I will send to you the official lodgement receipt the bank issued my late father by the time he paid in this money to the bank.The document is with me here.Please contact and get back to me: Thanks Yours sincerely
Sandra
Heres what the doffness looks like she even named it My photo8..It must be her!
I replied,I think im pissing her off...
Top of the morning to you sandra
I finally got the picture.Youre a very intruiging woman..I tried to contact the bank.But got threatend on the phone by a half asleep man.I think you gave me the wrong number,Also.The email addresses you sent me are yahoo email addresses.We really have to get youre money out of that bank.They seem to be a crap bank.Cant even afford their own domain.Hell my company will be getting one within the next two months.
Im starting to get suspicious of this deal.What group does the bank fall under?what will the bank charges be.Is there a need for me to Fly to Court de Ivor?
Also the picture you sent wasnt proof enough.I need more proof that youre not an overweight american playing a trick on me.I need you to send me more proof.Not Identification Docs,or passports.They are easily forged.Think of something then get back to me
I also phoned the number she gave me,Turns out its not a bank.CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???who wouldnt trust this woman.Yahoo addies for a bank,Then the number goes thru to some guy?Wow!
I chirped him that I want to speak to edmund(name i made up) and that im going to break edmunds legs,The bastard owes me money.
And to all you people that miss my normal moaning,i will be posting normal blogs.As soon as i can think up something good
Dear Martin Thank you very much for your urgent reply to my mail.I have attached my photo for you to see me.I am very much happy to hear from you.I am ready to conclude this with you.
Well to explain more about myself,I was a student of university of cocody before the untimly death of father .I have not been into any busines of any kind before.This money belong to my father and I am the beneficary of this money as the only daugther.I have the deposit slip the bank issued to my late father the time of deposited this money to the Bank.If you like I will send it to you for your confrimation.I want you to assist me in transfering this money into any of your account,and also I want you to become every thing to me and to invest this money in any lucrative business that is good.I will also like to continue my university studies in your country I give you 15% persent of the total amount if this money is finally tranfered into your account and also invested some where.Where I want you to help me is to contact the Bank for them to tell you how the money will be transfered ito you account as I dont know anything about banking systems.I dont want to make any mistake.I will give you the contact of the bank where my late father depsited this money, when next you reply to me for you to estalibish comunication with them.If you agree on this let me no .I will give you more details when I see your response. Thanks and God bless you. Yours sincerely Sandra
I replied.With...
Howdy sandra. Im glad you mailed me back.But you havent seemed to tell me more about youre self.I also didnt recieve the picture you say you sent.There wasnt even a link to a picture.Im very glad to see you said god bless, Im a regular church goer at the local Anton Le Vay church.We have a small choir that needs uniforms.I might be able to convince my fellow church members to help out youre family when you finally arrive.I must say im very excited to see you.You sound like a very interesting man.
Please could you enlighten me as to what i have to do to help you get to Souther rodesia,(South Africa).Also i would like you to show me a token of trust in youre next email,It may be a picture of you, links to something youre family have done etc etc.
Also is this legal?I know Nigeria can be a harsh place ,esp under muslim law.Ive heard many horror stories about how the goats warriors in the jungle kidnap people in the dead of the night.Is this true?
Thanking you more times than ive seen monkeys being spanked Martin COO Martins pc and plumbing "We router more than just youre network"
How long do you think she will stick with me?I hope for a while.This is fun...
Yesterday, i gots me a mail from one of them 419'ers..Eventually.Last year i played with one,it was fun, but then he caught on and stopped mailing me.Left me like a cheap hooker on the side of the road.Bastard
But hopefully i will be able to keep this one for a while longer So her mail went something like this...
FROM:SANDRA KAMRA. ABIDJAN.COTE D' IVOIRE. WEST AFRICA.
Please email me directly to this my private box:sandrakamra02@yahoo.fr
My Dear,
Compliment of the season, Please allow me a little to explain our condition to you
Our Mother died long ago when she was about to delivered my junior brother mike, based this that we lost our mother so early our father took us so special.
I am Miss Sandra Kamra,the only daughter late Mr and Mrs Alfred Kamra, My father a big business man based in Abidjan Capitial of( Ivory Coast ) He was killed his business associates on one of their business trips.
Before the death of my father last year in a private hospital here in abidjan,He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has a sum of USD$10,000,000,Million USD.( Ten Million U.S dollars),deposited in Bank in ( Abidjan Cote D' Ivoire, that he used my name as his beloved daughter for the next of kin in depositing the fund.
He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was killed by his business associates, that I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose Please here is the area that i need your assistance.
1- To assist me in providing an account of yours where this fund can quietly be transferred into.
2-To serve as the guardian of this fund since we dont know anything about fund transfer.
3)- To make arrangement for us to come over to your country to futher our education and to help us secure a residential permit in your country.
Moreover, I am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/ Input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas,
Furthermore, you can indicate your option towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within the shortest possible time if you signify interest to assist me,in your reply i will like you to give me your most direct phone number.
Many thanks for your understanding towards our request.
Yours sincerely.
Sandra Kamra
Email:sandrakamra02@yahoo.fr
So im also not going to take out her mail addie.in case after i finished with her,you okes wanna play too..Remember, 419ers arent people.They are criminals.Only give out youre moms bank details!
I replied with
Dearest sandra
Thank you for choosing me over everyone else out there.I understand youre plight,Im sorry for youre loss.It must be hard living in the middle east with all the wars happening,Then to lose both youre parents at the same time.It must be trying on youre family.
Please mail me more details on how I can help you.Also if you don't mind,Could you tell me more about youre self.Im very interested in meeting oriental people.
Youres truly and forever.
Martin
COO Martins pc's and plumbing
"We router more than just youre network"
Since then she has mailed me back.But im working on a reply...ill post it tomorrow.
So this weekend went by way to fast..I actually cant remember how most of it happend
Friday started off as per usual.Parking off at work till four.Then racing thru to pick up my sister.Bernadine, Wanted to meet ferdi.No one knows why.Cause once youve met the ferdi,everyone else is just a dissapointment,So off we galavanted to ferdis current location.The home of the gay basti.He is house sitting....
We had what must be the best pizza on earth.Ferdis mother makes alot of pizza for us.We thank her for that.
Got home a little later than i wanted,but it was worth it.Saturday involved meeting up with family that i havent seen since last year,My gramps ,aunts ,uncles ect.It was michelles bday party.Michelle being my older sister.
The party was actually a big success,except for the one drunk guy that no one invited,But michelle made it funny but throwing him in his car.CAN YOU BELIEVE IT...michelle isnt a big girl.And the electrician/drunk man,well his about average height,weight and so forth.Truly deserves respect..
Sunday was a chilled day,Just sitting at home,doing nothing.
Sauve,take a page out of my books.Take a weekend or three off...you deserve it.Oh and be our token black oke please....
So our token black guy will be arrested.That is for sure.There is no way out of it.Hell black men are always suspects.
So Ive compiled a list of things that he has to remember when he gets locked up in the slammer
1 Never become someones bitch.As easy as it sounds.This is the biggest mistake anyone can make.
2 Invest in cigarettes.After making someone youre bitch.Its always nice to relax with a cig or two.
3 Hook up with Scofield or linkin burrows.Those white okes might seem a little crazy,but they can get you to work on PI....and we all know pi is good.Esp steak pi's
4 Dont do drugs.Anyone named drugs wouldnt be someone youd want as a bed buddy
5 make friends with the gaurds.Become a snitch.They give you burgers and milkshake,Yes you have to listen to them moaning about the most mundane kak.But hey.Food is food
6 Make friends with the white racist okes.Nothing is more touching than seeing a former awb member hugging a token black guy.It might even lead to a career in the movies.
7 Kick the kak out of metallica if they pretend to be hard by visiting youre prison.One saint anger vid is enough.we just dont like them
8 Find a religion.You normally get a book when you convert,paper is the essential item needed when making spit balls
9 buddy up with the kitchen staff,hell anyone working with youre chow should be youre bud
10 Gather lots of things,Momentos for when you finally escape or are set free.Our friendship should still be there
So with these basic guidlines.You should be set.Dont stress to much about the scofield thing though.They catch him in the next season.
So we seem to have alot of comments about our black guy recruitment...Applications,hatemail,cazz has been asked out,Twice...You okes just want to be our friends!
Ok..Sauvebona mentioned that he needs certain things,Like not being our slave,we have to talk to the cops and so on.Youre not understanding the whole situation.Really.
The main benifit you get from being our friend is FRIENDSHIP!yes ladies and gents,well gents,we dont need more woman in our lives..Thats what you get.Always knowing that there are going to be people to solve mysteries with,people that will steal monkeys and make you return them,while on a long road trip to break youre virginity.Hell we may even make a bet that you couldnt become prom king with that ugly chick that climbs out of tv's.
Yes,we have researched this topic alot.We didnt just decide one day that we were going to look for someone.
In exchange ,we offer you Matt,Hes our lame friend from pe.Matt has his perks,he doesnt mind posing nude for a webcam,As seen in this pic.He is posing without pants here.He is a daring young chap,that would do anything for money.
If there are anymore questions,please dont hesitate to contact cazz via email,That can be found on JNF or ferdi,or myself.But please.Remember,You cannot be pigmantly challenged,You have to be African by color.
Alrighty.This weekend we finally sat down to discuss what our circle of friends needs
A token black guy was the answer.Every cool teen movie has one,Hell sometimes cartoons also do.So this morning Ferdi went and posted an ad for our very special friendship position.We worded it as not to have any lawsuits piled against us by those that just didnt make the cut It went something like this
Like I said above this is a BEE post, in that we are looking for our token black guy! And if your name is in fact Token that would make things a lot easier! See we already have our token maid, therefore all we require is our token black friend! So heres the list of criteria yuo need to fit before applying: 1. You must be black! 2. You must listen to one of: a) Gangsta rap b) Blues c) Soul d) R&B e) Kwaito The reason for this is that the reason why we are looking for a black friend is to add some diversity into our circle! 3. Must be able to speak atleast one of: a) Zulu b) Xhosa c) American d) Smack 4. Candidates are also required to bring to the circle an original hand shake to be used in our circle! 5. Candidates should know how to get a hod of drugs. 6. Candidates should have a stolen gun. 7. Candidates should be able to play basket ball, we are currently involved in competition, but none of us can jump! 8. Candidates shouldn't know his real father. 9. Candidates need not be legally here, we don't care, we would love to visit you in prison it would add to our reputatiion. So we look forward to your applications, and let the best black man win!
So far we havent had any responses..We are starting to think that there is a shortage of token black guys out there.Come on chaps.We really need someone.Yes we are picky,but thats just cause we still want to be the cooler people in our group. We do offer benifits, we have a pool at ferdis place,i have a pool cue,and heck,if youre really interested,You can even grab Cazz or greg,Really we dont mind,Plus Weasel(ferdis ugly brother) can do youre taxes.
All we ask is that you dont but into the convo's except to say things like "Dang"! or "Schizniz" then explain what schizniz is...Also we need you to translate when we go to So We To to watch the man u boys play.We wont understand what the hells going on.
Someone please reply.We need youre help.This is really bringing our group down.
So mail youre responses to me,or simply reply on the blog.
